A RANT ON WHY THE EU IS GOOD FOR US

Wake up you dopes.
Ireland before the EEC/EC/EU was a tragic, alcoholic, wife beating, child molesting, paedophile priest dominated, unemployed syphilitic hellhole.
You woke up to nothing to wake up to.
Catatonic breakfast. Food? Shit food.
Skip it. Skip town.
The only thing you could do was get the hell out.
Sadly the UK was the main option or you went illegal in the US.
Ireland existed as a source of cheap labour for Britain and a source of missionaries for the world.
Beyond that, Ireland was a rank, damp TB ridden basement bed-sit of a country.
A psychologically ill basket case capable of feeding and employing a mere fraction of its citizens.

Then the EC.
The first visible consequence was social - Dutch and Germans came here.
They made cheese, they baked.
And after a decade the slow, fish-hating locals - hey that's why we gave our fish to the Spanish. We didn't like them, they tasted fishy. Fish was penance. Fish was Friday. Shell fish yuck. We'll give our fish and you give us more money to fund our cows. Glorious cows. Moo cows. Milk Cows. Beef Cows. Bearers of the incinerated steak we ate with cabbage cooked to paste - started to copy the foreigners.
Those weirdos are on to something.
Maybe rivers aren't a place to dump old cars. Sure the flash fellas in Dublin will eat that salmon. You have to smoke it though’.
Jaysus, hurry get the slurry out of the river.
Then the locals were joined by a strange class of people, returnees - no longer "proper Irish", they didn't wear bitterness with pride- coming home from weird places that were not called Cricklewood or the Bronx but Barcelona, Toulouse, Hamburg, Antwerp.
And guess what? The Big Brother EU didn't bar code their foreheads. No the EU freed us to go where we wanted.
Free from the violence, bribery, backwardness, incestuousness, mental decay. Free from the fourth "missing field'. Free from the Ard Fheis. Free from baton charges in Ballsbridge. Free from the dirty protest. (That came natural).
Free from Tom Murphy's Whistle in the Dark. Free from the Great Hunger.
Hunger, now we're back at the table again.
Shut up Da!
Behold is that a vegetarian restaurant I see before me in Dingle. Sushi in Akakista.
Hey where did all these roads come from?
(Thanks again to the Germans – they put food on the table, and then drove us to the restaurant.).
Suddenly when the kids came back from Europe they barely recognised the place.
And then, holy Mary, that queer Norris brought our homosexuality laws to Europe.
And the genie was out.
Contraception in pubs! Are you mad or what!
Suddenly we had been given all the toys. Finally we were big boys.
And what did we do?
You know what we did.
Do want an answer? The fuck you do!
Jesus, we are a substance abusing, spoilt, immature child that should not be left on its own.
The only mature thing about this country is our alliance with Europe.
Outside of that Ireland is a basket case.

If we don't look out to Europe - the Wahhabi wing of the Catholic Church - COIR - will have us looking up through whisky red eyes at the Virgin Mary.

"Ah sure Mary will understand. The younger sister was asking for it."